


Meanwhile...

by TWLBOAJ



Series: Self-Indulgent Blackrom Nonsense [4]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Black Romance, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, M/M, Masturbation, Other, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-05
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-07-21 17:01:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7396051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TWLBOAJ/pseuds/TWLBOAJ
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While Dave and Jake are off doing their kismesis thing, Karkat has a little fun of his own.</p><p>(Takes place at the same time as "Stupid Sexy Jerk")</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“If you're sure...”

“I am. Sure as sure can be. I'm so fucking sure, it's like Minority Report up in here, but the future guys are all like 'naw man we got you you're good we totally know what's happening and we're in consensus and shit,' and I'm like 'yeah dawg I already know because I'm a time traveler' and it's all good.” 

Karkat sighed to suppress a small chuckle. Dave was fucking ridiculous. He was also being overly weird about a pitch romance opportunity that was right in front of him. Of course, Karkat knew how to navigate through that. He'd taken the liberty a few days previously of telling Jake that if he was so concerned about how attractive his rival was, it was probably for a reason. And now that that seed had been sown, it was just a matter of getting Dave on board, and then this hate-ship could finally set sail. 

It took all of Karkat's willpower that day to not nose around trying to get details, but he managed to keep his interest in setting his boyfriend up with a new kismesis going on the sly. He didn't bring it up, and made a point of not talking to Jake. And it wasn't until he saw Dave checking the pieces of Jake's gun for errant clumps of sawdust that he knew he was about to make his move. Finally he couldn't leave it alone anymore.

“Gonna finally go 'do your thing,' as you so often put it?”

“Yep. Here's hoping it goes well.”

“Well, I won't get in your way. Good luck! I'm gonna, uh, hang out with Rose and Kanaya, I think. Read a bit.” 

“Alright. Well, enjoy your bodice-rippers.” Dave shot a smirk in Karkat's direction, and Karkat stuck his tongue out in response. 

“I will, thank you. You go and enjoy your caliginous flirting in my absence.” Karkat walked a little too quickly out of the room to head to Rose's. That part had been true, after all. He really was going to see her. Reading, however, would have to wait. He knocked on her door.

“C'mon in!” Rose's voice, muffled by the closed door, drifted into the hall. Karkat walked in, trying not to look guilty. “Hi, Karkat. What's happening?” Rose, who had been knitting a sweater for Kanaya, looked up from her work with a smile. Oh, boy. This was gonna be awkward and weird. What was he doing? This was a horrible idea. But he was already here, and it was too late to turn back.

“Hey! I was, uh, wondering if you still had that orb thing, that lets you see people remotely? The little scrying ball thing?” Rose arched an eyebrow in confusion.

“Well yes, I do, but I'd have to activate it for you, and I don't think you know how to use it… why do you ask?” Karkat could feel his face flush, and he realized he only had a few seconds before it became visible through his gray skin. 

“OH! Well, I uh… no reason in particular, just wondering… how is it used, by the way…?” He was babbling and this was going downhill fast. Rose's eyes narrowed and, after a moment, her mouth twisted into a tiny grin.

“You're trying to spy on Dave and Jake, aren't you? Dirty boy.” She flipped her hair and stood up, placing her knitting on a shelf. Karkat stood in the doorway like a potato, feeling quite stupid and useless. Suddenly, too loud and too late, he tried to protest.

“I-no! No, I uh… no, I'm not spying, I just wanted to know how to use the, uh, the thing… is… all…….” Rose turned back to look at him, and Karkat shut up. She knew. And she was going to laugh at him about this for years, no doubt. He cleared his throat. “I… yes. Yes, that is what I'm trying to do. And I'm sorry to get you involved, since I know humans have that weird relations thing, and I guess it's pretty fucking creepy, isn't it, but… uh, Rose? What... are you doing, exactly…?” 

Rose had taken a small glass ball from her shelf and done some kind of weird Seer of Light stuff with it, so that something was visible inside. 

“I'm helping a buddy out,” she replied, with a cheeky wink. “Just do me a favor and spare me the details if you must discuss it later, okay?” She handed the seer orb to Karkat, who noticed she'd already set it to spy on Dave and Jake, who appeared to be arguing, if not squaring up to fight again.

“You're a really good friend,” he whispered at her. She laughed. 

“Well, obviously. Now get out of my room. Wait until they're finished with their debauchery before returning that, and make sure it's clean when you give it back, okay?”

“Okay!” Karkat nearly ran across the hall, back to Dave's empty room, and shut the door. While it was true that he could have snuck around and just listened through the door once Dave and Jake got to things, this was a lot easier and less risky. He peered at the small glass ball, and was just in time to catch Jake grabbing Dave by the shoulders for making out. Karkat grinned, proud of his boyfriend for finally getting over his nerves and scoring some hate-smooches. Wow, the two of them were really going at it. He'd have to be on the lookout for telltale marks later. Karkat felt his breath speed up and the room felt very warm, all of a sudden, as he watched Jake slip his hands up Dave's back, under his shirt, to scratch him up. Dave's face reacting to the pain was really something, even with his eyes hiding behind those shades. Karkat reclined on the bed, laying on his side so he could look through the little glass orb in comfort. Wow, it really was hot in the room, he decided, wiggling out of his sweater. 

When he finished taking the sweater off and looking back at the orb, he noticed that Dave and Jake were headed out of the room. Shit. What if they were headed here?? Shameless though Dave was, Karkat imagined he wouldn't be appreciative of any surreptitious voyeurism happening in his own room. But Karkat's anxiety faded as he saw that the two of them were headed to Jake's room, instead. He wished he could hear what they were saying. Insufferable chatter aside, the moans and gasps were probably worth filtering out meaningless words. Speaking of, Karkat let out a small moan himself as he watched Jake pull Dave's shirt off, exposing his torso and all those scratches from earlier. He could feel an erection starting to push against the front of his pants, and as he watched his boyfriend get to business, he slipped his hand down beneath his waistband. 

Dave had pushed Jake onto the bed, somewhat aggressively, and was now slowly removing his pants and boxers. Fucking tease. Karkat mimicked his movements, until the two of them were both naked. He knew it was kind of sleazy to go about watching this happen, but if anything, that only made it more exciting. This was wrong, and he knew it. But both of these guys were so fucking hot, and it was driving him crazy. Karkat bit his lower lip, trying to keep quiet. He knew nobody who cared could hear him, but knowing that he was doing something bad was making him paranoid. Paranoid and maybe even a little ashamed. Dirty boy, Rose had called him. She'd been joking, of course, but she was right.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat continues to creep on the hateful couple.

Karkat suppressed another moan, finally wrapping a hand around the shaft of his cock. This was so wrong, he thought to himself. No better than peeking through a keyhole or a crack in the wall. But what Dave and Jake didn't know wouldn't hurt them, and even if they did find out, they were both so egotistical that they'd probably stop being annoyed within minutes just so they could be flattered that Karkat had gone to such lengths to be a peeping tom. All this rationalizing didn't change the fact that he was most definitely spying on them, though. Jake was saying something, delaying what looked like a blowjob. Come on, man. Don't just sit there…

“Oh! Wow…” Karkat muttered, as he watched Jake grab Dave suddenly around the waist and fling him onto the bed. “Didn't see that coming...” He brought the little orb closer to his face to get a better look. They were setting themselves up to give each other oral in there. Oh, god… 

Karkat gasped slightly as he started jerking himself off slightly faster. He knew firsthand how good Dave was at blowjobs, but there was something about seeing it from afar that was really special. Jake looked like he was having the time of his life, squirming and trying as hard as he could to maintain composure. It was almost cute, in a way. Seeing all this silly posturing the two of them were doing. Nothing quite marked a budding kismesissitude like trying so hard to look cool even in the throes of passion. As it was, Jake obviously wasn't keeping his cool. Karkat couldn't quite see exactly what Dave was doing, but he could imagine, given his past experiences. Too bad Jake had left his shirt on… Jolts of arousal shot up Karkat's spine, even with the impeded view. What was he feeling about this, exactly? Was he jealous? Not on an emotional level, certainly. That'd be silly. But it sure did look like they were having fun… he couldn't tell if he wanted to join in or take someone's place. Either situation seemed like a good time, and John certainly was annoyingly eager to espouse the virtues of kisemesis-matesprit threesomes last time they happened to bring sex up in conversation… 

“Huh! The shades finally come off, huh?” he mused softly, watching the rest of the errant garments on both participants fall away. “That was quick...” And just as quick was the return to the violent making out that Karkat had just barely caught before. Dave was really taking control, which was something new, certainly. He could be overbearing, rude, and overly devoted to his bizarre humor, but this kind of aggression felt completely new, and something inside of Karkat's heart lit up with newfound interest. He wasn't really into receiving too much pain, at least not in a flushed context, but he couldn't help but be curious about what it felt like to be on the receiving end of those teeth and nails. His daydreams were interrupted when he noticed the tides of power turning in Jake's favor. He was a strong, sturdy thing, far more scrappy and eager for a tussle than Dave was, so it wasn't too surprising. Still, this wasn't like a fight anymore. Not in the normal sense. Looks like they were really getting the hang of this blackrom thing. Passion mixed with a desire to outdo each other. Karkat let out a low hum of pleasure as he watched the two of them settle into a comfortable rhythm. It looked like they were talking, but when were they not? It wasn't that big a deal, really. 

But then Jake reached a hand out and slapped Dave's ass, hard. Karkat stopped touching himself for a moment, and brought the little seeing orb up close to his face so he could get a good look at Dave's reaction. He had stiffened up, obviously trying to suppress any urges to squirm and writhe. His mouth fell open in a moan that looked loud. And based on Jake's face, he was just as surprised as Karkat was about it. That look of surprise, however, quickly turned to one of malice. Oh, boy. For a brief moment, Karkat almost wished he could record all of this, before deciding that no, it was better like this. He could have his weird dirty voyeuristic habits all on his own, without saving any evidence for posterity. No matter how hot this was, there would always be other times. 

Exercising his will to the best of his ability, Karkat held off on jerking off while he watched Dave and Jake stop what they were doing and start preparing to actually fuck. He wanted to wait until things got started again before he allowed himself to finish. Dave was bent over on all fours on the bed, arching his back and lubing up his ass to be fucked. He was just so pretty like that, Karkat thought to himself. The gentle curve of his waist, a delightfully plush rump, and a smooth back that was just so fun to touch. Although, admittedly, it was a little less smooth now, considering all the red, raised scratch marks on it. Made it look all the more touchable, to be honest. And although Karkat had tried his best to not allow his eyes to stray too much, he couldn't help but watch Jake, too. Even though there was a sort of weird dweebishness that reminded him a little too much of John, he was very attractive in his own way. He had the look of someone who lived an outdoorsy sort of life. Someone who had lived on a lusus-filled island and had to fight robots more often than he'd have liked. Lithe, tan, and sturdy. And as he put a condom on and applied lube to his cock, Karkat realized he wasn't sure who he was more envious of, in the situation. He'd have been more than happy to take either place. He glanced down at his own erection and back at the glass ball, hoping that they'd get to business soon. A troll could only take so much, after all. 

After what seemed like an eternity, Jake was finally lining himself up to get fucking, and Dave was mouthing off, as usual. Apparently he'd gotten some wit back, as Jake slapped him on the ass again, seemingly in response to a comment. Karkat moaned, clenching his fists and trying to stop himself from touching his aching dick. Not yet. Almost, but not yet…

At last, Dave and Jake got down to business, with Jake fucking Dave hard and fast, digging his nails into Dave's hips. Karkat's hand shot down to his cock, and started touching himself again. Now we were getting somewhere, he thought. He suppressed another moan as he saw Jake give Dave's ass another slap, leaving a bright red mark, and yet another when he pulled Dave's arm so that it was folded behind his back, stopping him from jerking himself off. Oh god, he was going to drag this out. What a fucking jerk. No wonder Dave hated him. And, for that matter, no wonder he had been so readily prepared to fuck him. And for a few short but fantastic minutes, Karkat watched the two of them going at it. 

All too soon, however, Jake paused. Dave said something, with a contemptuous look in his eye. Really? This was the time he'd chosen for mind games and banter? Karkat whined, but stopped all the same, watching closely. Jake pulled out of Dave and flipped him over, and after some shuffling around that was kind of hard to see, the two of them were soon making out again. Eh, just as well. That worked. Grinding hips and roaming hands were always fun to watch. Things were getting even more aggressive now, too. Karkat went right back to jerking off, keeping his eyes trained on the glass orb, and his eyebrows shot up in surprise when he saw Dave bite savagely into Jake's shoulder, drawing blood. Ohhh, god. He couldn't take much more of this. At this rate, he'd blow his load within minutes of watching this.

“Fuck...” he muttered under his breath, before digging his teeth into his lower lip. His eyes widened and a small, high-pitched whine escaped him as he watched Dave lick Jake's blood off his teeth and take control, pushing Jake over so he could get on top of him. After a flurry of kissing and biting and scratching and fumbling around, Dave finally sat up, and Karkat could see both of them looking as hot as they ever did, faces bloodied and eyes clouded with lust. Okay, that was it. He couldn't take it anymore. With a whimper, Karkat finally came, trying his best not to get any “evidence” all over the bedsheets. 

Dave and Jake didn't last much longer. Within a minute or two, they had both finished and were starting to pull themselves back together. For a moment, Karkat just laid there in Dave's bed, admiring the sight of his boyfriend after his first caliginous romp, before realizing that he had to get cleaned up and get rid of the incriminating magical item immediately. 

With a sudden feeling of panic, Karkat cleaned himself up and slipped back into his clothes, and made sure no bodily fluids had gotten onto the glass orb that Rose had so kindly lent him. He'd have to find a way to thank her someday. Oh good, it was clean. He peered closely at it and his heart jolted as he saw Dave stumble happily out of Jake's room, presumably towards his own. Shit, shit, shit. 

Karkat rushed out of the room and into Rose's, not even bothering to knock. She looked up at him in momentary surprise. 

“So, I take it you, uh, had fun, then?” she asked, trying not to freak him out. He looked at her with wide eyes.

“I did, yes. Thank you. I, uh… here.” He held the orb out to her, and she wiped the image off its surface before taking it and putting it back on her shelf. “I owe you one for this. Just say the word, and I'll be ready to make it up to you.” 

“I know,” she said, turning to him with a cryptic, almost creepy smile. Karkat didn't want to wait around to see what that meant, and he simply walked out back into the hall, to find something to occupy his time with. He could go back and see if Dave had returned to his room, sure but he needed an alibi. So he did some light reading, trying not to replay what he'd seen in his head too much, before returning to Dave's room after a few hours. 

Dave was asleep in bed, bless him. All of that really took it out of him, it seemed. Overtaken by a sudden wave of affection, Karkat gently kissed him on the forehead and ruffled his hair. Slowly, Dave's eyes opened. 

“Hmm?” 

“Well, I see you took my advice!”

“Oh, come on. As if I wouldn't find out about your machiavellian bullshit. You totally knew what was going to happen, didn't you?” Karkat blushed. Of course he had. And that wasn't all he knew. But Dave didn't need to know about all that. Getting involved behind the scenes was Karkat's own dirty little secret, and he had no problem keeping it that way. Maybe next time, though, he could get involved in more direct ways...


End file.
